WEBSITE

www.jaystelling.co.uk
This is what you will see when you go on my website, but I’m currently updating it and changing the look to make it cleaner and more professional… 

if you search www.jaystelling.co.uk/wordpress this is what you will see: 

 (Mostly placement images, but new branding and a fun dropdown menu when you hover over ‘artwork’.) I really want this to be fun/quirky – reflecting my personality and my work. I would like it to be at least a little interactive and playful for children (target audience) but also professional and attractive to clients (book publishers). THE GENERAL THEME IS MAGIC.

Branding & Identity Research

Pastoral Tutorial with Patrick

I was so anxious about this tutorial and a lot went wrong this morning, but after an initial wobble I finally felt comfortable enough to look at the screen and actually talk to Patrick.

It's OK to work from home! It's probably (definitely) more productive.
Make timetables and organise yourself. Make the most of your time.

We had a bit of a discussion about where I'm taking my work, where it's going... I really want to make a picture book. That's what I came to uni to do and it would be brilliant to leave uni with at least a proposal to take to publishers.
DEVELOP A STORYLINE and work backwards from final show deadline.
Don't have to JUST do a picture book, performance can be involved too, and/or animation/interactive website. Could plan a workshop/performance to go alongside the book.

TASK 3: Descriptions of My Work

How would I describe my work?

My work is mostly targeted towards children, so it definitely has a childish/childlike element to it. It's all about imagination and magic. It is often based around character and narrative, tapping into other worlds and describing fantastical landscapes. I value a handmade approach.

How would others describe my work?

I would say delicately crafted/focus on crafts(wo)manship, high attention to detail, refined narrative, tactile. I think composition is also a strength, I'm especially thinking of the animations you've done, which kind of reinforces the point about narrative.

It's very playful, enchanting, imagination driven, character based, fun for all the family, highly crafted with all the dolls and stuff and your talent as an illustrator as well! 

Magical, characterful, with storytelling and narrative at its core. Its all about creating worlds in which these dolls and figures exist.

Everything has a handmade feel.

Your work is fun, whimsical, treasured, committed, atmospheric !

How do they compare?

They're very similar! I'm pleased that my intentions do come across. Maybe I should ask my intended audience though (children), especially since the people I asked are all my peers so they know what I am trying to achieve? They might just be saying these things to please me. 

The comment that I was really happy with was 'imagination driven', because that's exactly what all of this is and exactly what I want to capitalise on.

MacKinnon and Saunders Exhibition at HOME, Manchester

Bronte and I took a trip to Manchester to see Blondie last weekend, but whilst we were there we also visited a few museums and the MACKINNON AND SAUNDERS EXHIBITION! I'm a big fan of Mackinnon and Saunders so I was really looking forwards to this.
The exhibition was just photos on the walls of HOME, a fancy cinema in Manchester, so it could have been a lot bigger and better, I would have LOVED to see the real maquettes...

MUST DO MORE RESEARCH INTO MACKINNON AND SAUNDERS AND THE SORTS OF PORTFOLIOS PEOPLE SUBMIT TO THEM. Ben has a contact there - TALK TO HER!
It would be great to go and look INSIDE the studios. I know that Animation often do visits there, could I squeeze into one of those trips?

TASK 2: WEBSITES - Pantovola

https://pantovola.com

Pantovola is a doll maker, specialising in heirloom and memorial dolls. Her website carries her Gothic/Romantic tone of voice/identity as an artist through its Victorian aesthetic. 

Why Pantovola?

She is a successful, full-time doll maker. If I do choose to make dolls full time then my website should be similar in function to Pantovola's. Her website functions as a portfolio and links off to her social media pages and Etsy shop.

TASK 2: WEBSITES - Daisy Meadows Rainbow Magic

http://play.rainbowmagiconline.com/uk/index.html

Who is it aimed at?

Since I often target an audience of children - middle grade readers, I thought back to the kind of websites that I enjoyed as a kid. 

One that I found particularly engaging and fun was this one for Daisy Meadows (authors of the Rainbow Fairies books). It's still online now, though I'm not sure if it's changed slightly. It's now part of a website called 'Rainbow Magic' which includes sections for Fireman Sam, Pingu etc. I remember the cursor used to be a magic wand and the page would buffer with little stars and clouds.

The intention with this website is to expand the magic of the books into the online world, so that the readers can immerse themselves in a virtual format where these characters and stories can be accessed easily. This page makes reading seem fun.

Although parents and adults are the gatekeepers who would buy children books, this website takes the approach of targeting children and selling the products to them instead of trying to pitch them to their guardians. 

I'm not sure how many kids would still visit a website to find out more/play games about the books? If they were to look for a game related to the stories, I think they would probably be more likely to find an app or scan a QR code on a book jacket? Times have changed and I do wonder how much traffic this website gets.

Update: I just tried to get onto the 'online store' section and it redirected me to a Mattel site and then a page that no longer exists so I am wondering whether this has been abandoned. 

What makes it attractive:

It's interactive! You can click and move over different parts of the image and they will move/animate/play music.

The reader gets to virtually enter the world of the Rainbow fairies, which is really cool when you're 9 and a fairy nerd. There are links to games, puzzles, colouring sheets. All things to keep the reader enjoying and thinking about the stories.

TASK 2: WESBITES - Red Nose Studio

Why Red Nose Studio?

Chris Sickels is a freelance illustrator working with 3D models and scenes. My work is quite similar to Sickels's in that we both create physical models of characters, so it should help me to see how he sells himself and presents his work online.

Who is their audience?

Potential clients

Editorial, Publishing, Animation

What makes it successful?

Porfolio-style, large images. Clean, crisp, organised, professional.

Maggie Rudy

http://andreaskyberg.com/maggie-rudys-studio-tour/

I just found this so fascinating!
Could it be viable for me to just MAKE AND MAKE AND MAKE like Rudy does?
I should use extended practice to work towards a story book like Maggie Rudy has and just build all the scenes, the characters (duplicates too)...

I could contact her and find out more about how she started out doing this and how she manages it. Does she have an agent? Does she have a second job?

TASK 2: WEBSITES - MacKinnon and Saunders & LAIKA

Why MacKinnon and Saunders?

I thought it could be useful to look at a COMPANY rather than another independent artist/illustrator (my competition), since this is an employer/workplace that I could work towards.

I really admire the work of MacKinnon and Saunders' puppet department, so by looking at their website, I can analyse how my work would fit into their company.

The home page shows the three different elements of the company leading off to different information. All under the same name, but clearly segmented for clients and audience to navigate easily to their point of interest.
Something to think about when I'm making my website - separate identities or one collective 'home' for all the different things I do.

Why Laika?
Laika is a similar company, and they often work in unison with MacKinnon and Saunders, but across in Portland, America rather than Manchester, UK.
Examining the difference in industry from UK/US.
Laika used to have a side company called 'Laika House' which focused on digital puppetry and commercials, but now that's a completely separate business and Laika is dedicated completely to stop-motion. 

Artists In Miniature Magazine

Sadie Brown from DollsHouse and Miniature Scene Magazine asked me to answer some questions for a feature which is really exciting but this won't be published until later in the year.

In the meantime, she contributes to a smaller online digital magazine called 'Artists In Miniature Magazine' which she has kindly featured me in too!

Teaching Workshop

Attended the Career Track Tuesdays Teaching Workshop...

Mostly aimed at getting into teaching primary/secondary, not higher/further, which is what I would be most interested in.

RESEARCH FURTHER:

How to get into teaching FE/HE ART

Do some work experience - Go back to Foundation?

Speak to tutors about their path into teaching

This has put me off teaching a little bit... it's just so serious and strict and definitely at the moment the education system is not supporting arts. I might look into it at some point but for now I want to focus on my own work.

Mission Statement/Manifesto

I am a storyteller and I aim to continue constructing worlds and telling stories in my career as a professional doll maker, puppet fabricator and illustrator.

I strive for my creations to be whimsical, otherworldly and intriguing. My illustrations and characters are mainly aimed at children but I do hope to bring a little bit of a macabre, spooky tone into my work.

My ambition is to be recognised and respected for being a creator. I value tactile media and producing work with a handmade quality; it is important for of the maker and the charm of craft to be evident in the work I produce.

MANCHESTER ANIMATION FESTIVAL: Events

http://www.manchesteranimationfestival.co.uk/events/mackinnon-saunders-origins/
Mackinnon and Saunders Exhibition (free)   Fri 3rd November 2017 - Sun 7th January 2018 10am-11pm

http://www.manchesteranimationfestival.co.uk/events/world-ivor-wood/
Ivor Wood Talk (£7)  BOOKED! Thu 16 Nov 17 10:15

Jack Skellington

I've been trying to avoid doing custom doll orders lately so that I can focus on my dissertation. I've also realised that doing these little doll-portraits wasn't really pushing me or building my portfolio, I was just doing the same thing over and over and selling my work away.

But when I was asked to do a Jack Skellington doll from The Nightmare Before Christmas, I couldn't resist. I love that film and I thought it could be fun to compare my version to the original Henry Selick product. I do prefer making my own characters but Jack is an exception. I've always wanted my own replica Jack doll, so making this made me very happy.

It's just a shame that I did this as a custom order.

And now he's no longer with me... I MUST MAKE ONE FOR MYSELF.

This is Selick's original. Smooth, perfect...

The head was interchangeable and the puppet team made hundreds of different expressions that could be 'clicked' into place.

Since my Jack is papier mache it's a lot bumpier and not as smooth. You can also see the cardboard on the tie (magic ruined). The lines on the costume are more white/black than black/white like Selick's was.

My Jack is a bit cuter/friendlier than the original, which I guess is the result of my tone of voice.

Art in the Mill Visit

My family and I went to go and see the exhibition at Art in the Mill and it looked great! The dolls were stood on plain white plinths with some ceramic buildings/sculptures behind them (which the gallery just had lying around). They worked so well together! Next time it could be useful to plan my set up, work out things like this... extra props, lighting, things to make it just a bit more eye-catching in a room full of so much lovely work.

Toy Maker of Dale

Paying attention to small details in props, costumes etc is time consuming but definitely makes my dolls more interesting, intricate.

Tolkien Dolls

Some of the Tolkien dolls I've been making. Exciting to make work for collectors/big fans of Tolkien - knowing that they will really appreciate and value these dolls as specialist, one of a kind products.

Meeting with John and Guy

Meeting with John Cockshaw and Guy Brady:

Discussing promotion, advertisements and distribution of flyers. Exploring ideas for opening 'ceremony'/event with musical accompaniments, meet the artists?  SATURDAY 30TH SEPTEMBER OPENS - I might have to work so won't be able to be there...

Pricing - Guy needs to work on his pricing - too cheap, especially for originals! Look to John for advice, he's been doing this years. Great tutoring relationship going on, really helpful.

Dolls should be a uniform price across the exhibition to make it easier but they should be more than I usually charge to make room for the 40% commission and the fact that they are specialist OOAK dolls and there will be big Tolkien fans there so I imagine they wouldn't mind spending a little more for a unique Tolkien doll. We're thinking £60-£80...  (I should probably be charging this anyway...)

Since it's John's exhibition, he's paying for all the expenses in printing. This is a really special opportunity for me and Guy (Guy's first and my second proper exhibition) and it's so sweet of John to take us under his wing and guide us through this. He could tell we were both nervous but he's pushing us up and just giving us a place and an opportunity to show what we've got. And brilliant timing too since we're both just going into our final year at uni. Something to take away and maybe build up networks before we start to make post-uni decisions.

Promotional photo shoot: highlighting our passion for fantasy and our creative community together. Having fun in John's garden with his kids watching from the house. It's a shame we couldn't go into the woods to take this but there had just been a thunder storm (my hair is soaked in this picture).
It's a really personal and narrational approach to an exhibition, to show our faces and promote them as a collective of local friends. John's work is often like this and shows himself as a magician in photographs quite a lot. I think it's an exciting and confident way of presenting himself.

Local newspaper! A little feature about the exhibition. Just a small ad with a local audience but still great to see our names in there and start getting the word out there.

We've been getting flyers out into the world with lots of local businesses taking them and posting on Tolkien fan pages as well as local arts pages.

Far from the Shire Exhibition

Local artist John Cockshaw approached myself and illustrator Guy Brady (we studied together at school), inviting us to participate in his Tolkien exhibition in Knaresborough in September.
This is turning into a busy old year!
I am thinking of a couple of Hobbit inspired doll characters with props like bow and arrows and swords.

EXHIBITION SET UP

Managed to get everything done in time, phew!! A mad, crazy rush and my studio feels so empty now with all the boxes gone.

Thanks to Gary and Pam for the help in transporting and assembling the show! 

'Twas the Night before the Exhibition

The gallery/exhibition/fine art context

and why I struggle with it

PRICING IS SO HARD because I am so very cheap and I don't want to charge outlandish amounts, mainly because I don't think it's worth it and I'm not that interested in the money.

I keep being asked what I'm most driven by for this show and it's not making money or selling art or even really getting more commissions/work. I just want to have a show and for my art to be there and for people to see it and feel the magic.

My audience is children

which is great because at Newby Hall there's an adventure playground and all sorts of whimsical, explorative child friendly events

so my art fits in well for children to stop and look and play and wonder

BUT

it's the parents and grandparents etc who have the money - gatekeepers - and I don't want to make work for them. It's for the kids and I don't know whether framed prints is really what a child wants or whether that's just because it's the CONVENTIONS of a gallery and an exhibition. It's what's expected.

This place is a really renowned and classy estate... world class gardens, beautiful architecture, big events. It's a national treasure and it really is an honour to exhibit here but I think the work I've made has been made FOR this event and FOR this place. It's been made to fit into the scene and to pander to the audience of quite well off families who may visit. 

I prefer the idea of children/audiences coming to EXPERIENCE and PLAY WITH the art rather than to look at it in a glass cabinet and buy it

WHICH MEANS

that a point that was made to me in PPP feedback about choosing between commercial doll making and theatrical performance might have been realised...

I'd rather charge people for coming into a space, to experience the art and have a good time than to make things for them to buy. 

Framing

Image needs printing larger since it is slightly shorter than the mount!

FIFTH ILLUSTRATION FOR NEWBY HALL

Toadstool

 I don't like this one as much, it's just a bit boring and the toadstools just look like they are floating...

FOURTH ILLUSTRATION FOR NEWBY HALL

Ugly Bug Ball

Also my frames arrived! Spent £109 on frames for the exhibition but they've arrived and look really professional.

POSTER

A quick poster. Probably flouting all kinds of graphic design rules here but it does the job. Tells people when and where to find my pixies.

Distributed to a couple of places in Ripon (keeping it local as the appeal is that I'm a young, local talent apparently) and sharing online.

Third Illustration for Newby Hall Exhibition

Not sure whether this one is too busy

ideas: brownies / house elves - laundry? pots and pans? teacups (overdone)

river fairies

mushrooms / toadstools

fairy circle

mini train / railway

Second Illustration for Newby Hall Exhibition

Second image done! Next - allotment, seasons (autumn leaves, spring showers, bees), 

What else do I need to think about?

Descriptions, titles and PRICES (they take 30% commission) 

HOW THE ILLUSTRATIONS WILL LOOK ON THE WALLS and how many I will need to fill the space.

Business cards and website

Headshot / artist photo of me? Advert for the exhibition

Finalise details of WHEN, HOW LONG FOR.

Illustrations for Newby Hall Exhibition

Target audience: children, family

live in Yorkshire, rural

Close to teddy bear exhibition and dolls house exhibition

adventure playground

intentions: playful, fun, charming, magical, bright

This image took a long time to make but I am so proud of it. It's better than anything I made for 505 and I'm disappointed that I didn't manage to make anything for that this year that I could be as happy with as this... simply having a few days at home with no deadlines and I can make a picture I like. It's that simple. 505 was rushed and I didn't finish anything to the same standard as this because we had so many deadlines going on at the same time.

Print A3/A2? Mount and frame or print onto canvas?

Make at least four more like this! Could use for the branding/promotion of my exhibition

NEWBY HALL SOLO EXHIBITION

I've been asked to exhibit some work at the prestigious and renowned Newby Hall! My work will be on display from July (still negotiating exact dates/when it will be taken down).
I've been emailing the ladies in charge of exhibitions but they asked me to come in and meet with them so that they could show me the space.
I was REALLY nervous but tried my best to be professional and confident!

Aims: ASK QUESTIONS. Find out measurements, times, commission, promotion, labelling, wire hanging system.

The wall measurements are:

End wall – 6m wide

Big wall – 8.5m wide

Small wall – 3m wide

 Walls are looking a bit drab without any work on the walls as they're between shows at the moment but once it's touched up and full of work it looks like a great space. It's the Grantham Room which is actually part of the restaurant where people will sit and eat/drink coffee. They get a lot of traffic through this room.

A very big space, they gave me the option of inviting other artists or to use the whole space... I said that I'd like to use the whole room! A big challenge to get enough work together by July (one month) but this is an incredible opportunity and I need to get as much out of it as I can.

The Grantham Room is attached to the dollshouse exhibition and across the green from the Bear House (which contains an original Fozzy Bear, Sooty and Paddington). It was a hot day when I went to visit and the doors the the Grantham Room were open. Lots of people wandering about the grass and sitting to have picnics. Right in the heart of the grounds.

Newby's main audience is families. They get a lot of children and they love the adventure play park/the miniature railway. Families come to see the beautiful gardens - maybe my 'theme' could be nature/woodland? I don't have to have a theme but I would like a title to promote and advertise with.

Some more photos of lovely Newby. Took some time to explore the whole place. INCREDIBLE. I actually can't believe I'm going to be exhibiting here.

502 End of Module Evaluation

502 Final Presentation

CREATIVE REPORT

Life's A Pitch

Script Planning

Fellow freaks! May I introduce myself as Jay, Queen of the weird.
Maker of creeps, oddities to be feared.

Since this year has been all about making crazy things
I thought today that I'd pull some more strings.

Make this a performance about what I love most
telling you stories and being your host.

And so here I am, where I love to be.
Being in character makes me feel more like me.

All of the freaks I'll show you today
have been lovingly made by the hands of Jay

and I'll show you some are examples of practitioners I admire
the sort of work I'd like to make and puppets to inspire

Hold your breath, be prepared and sit tight.
Please don't feed the exhibits, they have been known to bite.

So if you're all ready, without further ado,
May I roll out the freaks to show to you!

Roll up, roll up, if you're here for the show
The first cage I'll open is where I keep old Poe.

 -----------------------------------------------------

A dismal chap, a poor lost soul
made with monoprinted textures as black as coal.

I loved researching Poe and reading his work
finding where the Ravens and darkness lurk

Poe melts my heart, he really and truly does
his melancholy tone suits freaks like us.

I miss him already, he was like on of my own
his humour, his mystery, his narrational tone

 -----------------------------------------------------

The value of puppets is in the way that they feel
tactile textures technology can't steal.

My freaky friends are imbued with the texture of life
suspend your disbelief that they won't bleed from a knife.

This character knows all about what's ahead
Ask her a question and listen carefully to what's said,

I read essays by Gross and Walter Benjamin this year
Freud said when puppets are uncanny they can evoke fear.

 -----------------------------------------------------

Long Nose Puppets have their own group of creatures

puppets in bright colours with the most friendly features

I spoke to Katherine Morton about starting the team

making a puppet company is the absolute dream.

She told me that she studied illustration before
she discovered puppets and opened that door

She had no experience or training in making plays
But that's what makes them charming, Katherine says.

They travel the country with their props in a van
It's time to think about my post-uni plan.

 -----------------------------------------------------

I continue to put my freaks up for adoption
where clients can request a look-a-like option.

Mary Queen of Scots with her head removed.
My customer base this year has really improved.

I've been making so many for punters around
America, Australia and Germany-bound.

I sold a doll to the author of Wreck this Journal
my connection to these creations has become quite maternal

I hate to see them go, I get a little sad
but knowing they're out there isn't so bad.

I've got a waiting list of orders I need to get done
It's not work when I'm making, in fact it's quite fun.

 -----------------------------------------------------

And here is the notorious butcher dragon, Smoky Bacon
Be quiet now or the beast will awaken!

I made a puppet animation for festival called Moving Parts
where puppets and stop motion are celebrated as arts.

Smoky was inspired by 70's kids TV.
with colour and fantasy being the key.

Puff the magic dragon, the soup dragon of course
Whimsy and kitsch being the ultimate source.

 -----------------------------------------------------

This is Chris Sickels, a model-making king
innovative and exciting, a new dimension to bring

Chris Sickels sculpts models and constructs entire scenes
as editorial illustration in newspapers and magazines.

Sickels's practice is similar to my own,
his studio is a manic puppet-filled zone.

When I graduate I'd love to be just like Chris.
Going to work to make characters like this.

After worrying that I wasn't an illustrator, I've had time for reflection
I've realised that illustration practice can take any direction

 -----------------------------------------------------

In this collection you can see if you look
Each is a character from a different Roald Dahl book,

Brought into our dimension using a magical spell
translating the stories your teachers would tell,

Here is a witch with the power to transform you completely
into a rat, a mouse, and all quite discretely.

This one's an orphan, trapped forever in my loot
James and his giant peach-coloured fruit.

BEHOLD the tiny Minpins you can see in this frame,
out of all the exhibits, these are the most tame,

 -----------------------------------------------------

Now look closely, you can see my freaks on tour!
In a magazine in America, Art dolls galore.

Printed in a publication, I was so happy to see
they sent a complimentary copy over to me.

Art doll quarterly put my dolls in their Summer issue
GOODBYE MY SWEET FRIENDS, I'M GOING TO MISS YOU

Entering competitions, getting my freaks out there
across the world and who knows where.

Responsive challenged me to find briefs and choose
which ones to enter, there's nothing to lose.

 -----------------------------------------------------

I'm a modern day Frankenstein, doctor of dolls
Fabricating fairies, goblins and trolls.

I hope to continue, to expand and grow
make enough dolls to fill another freak show.

So thank you for coming, you've been a great crowd.
And thank you, dear freaks, you've all done me proud.

 -----------------------------------------------------

Puppeteer Gif

I wanted to put some animation onto my slideshow presentation, or even animate the entire 10 minutes as a little film? Would be a relevant and engaging way to make the presentation but there's not enough time sadly. I could maybe have started thinking about this a little earlier and prepared in advance. I COULD have spent the entire year preparing for this presentation to make it mindblowingly fabulous and ready for a showreel.

However, to work with the time I have left I've been making some gifs to slot into the presentation.

This one is me controlling some marionettes, which demonstrates my personality, my interests/profession and my presentation theme.

It turned out really sweet! I love it and I could use it for branding too.

Practising the Presentation

Had my first proper run through in front of my family. I was going to film and upload it here but I was in my pyjamas with six braids in my hair!
It's still not perfect, it needs lengthening a little bit

It went well though! Nor sure whether to use the puppet I made or not because it's so big and awkward to hold.
Rehearsal is SO IMPORTANT and I have all week to keep refining it.

Jim Henson's The Storyteller / Kate Bush as a Storyteller

FINDING INSPIRATION FOR MY PRESENTATION.
I don't want it to be exactly the same as last year, I want to take it a step further and have a real puppet in the performance, maybe even some music.

An example of storytelling form the mind of the fantastic Jim Henson is The Storyteller.

The Storyteller
'the best seat by the fire'... An enchanting and intriguing introduction. Quite frightening stories but performed in humorous and fantastical ways. Using music to create atmosphere.

Kate Bush

I want to channel Kate Bush in my performance and try to mimic her ethereal presence. MAGICAL LIKE KATE! Entertainment in enchantment. Narration and dialogue to introduce her songs. Videos to embellish her stories. Fabulous outfits and costumes, lots of floaty material and always RED SHOES.

Presentation Construction

Liked the idea of having a border around the pages to make it look really circus-y but it made the slides look cluttered and scruffy. I decided to scrap this format and make it more simple and clean. The jazziness and fun is in the way I'm presenting it, so my slides should be more professional!

PPP TUTORIAL

PPP is about preparing us...

we need to BE READY for work, life and being an artist.

The presentation this year should be about:

HOPES, ASPIRATIONS, VOICE.

WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD.

THE KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE.

WHAT YOU'VE DONE THIS YEAR (especially Responsive) AND WHY.

I'm excited for my presentation and to write my creative report. I think PPP is a really important module I just wish we had more sessions on it and more professionals to speak to this year. I'm glad that we have some time to focus on PPP alone without any of the other modules on our minds. I can really knuckle down and pay attention to it without worrying about spending enough time on the other modules like I have all year.

Preparing for Presentations

I love presenting and performing so it's never as daunting for me as it is for others. It's weird because I worry about all sorts of things and my anxiety stops me from doing things/going lots of places, but standing up and performing is completely different.
I could stand on a stage and do anything, When I'm in control, as I am when I'm stood telling a story, it's all in my hands and I can just be myself. People are watching me, but because I want them to. They're watching me and they want to hear what I'm saying, they are there because they want to be and I am there because I do too. They're not watching me because I'm doing things wrong/I'm having a panic attack/I don't belong wherever I am. It's different to 'public', it's still private and intimate and safe even though all eyes are on me and I'm completely vulnerable. I don't feel vulnerable when I'm stood up and I know what I'm saying.
It's still not easy, I still feel nervous about it and have to prepare A LOT. I practise saying my part so many times until I feel confident in what I'm saying. I wouldn't be able to do a presentation about something I'm not passionate about or interested in. Confidence is believing in what I'm saying.
And I make a fool of myself. I embarrass people by being an idiot and dancing around but I just do what I need to in the moment to keep the audience and myself under the spell.
I sometimes don't realise what I've done until afterwards and THAT'S when the anxiety kicks in - when I worry that I've upset/offended people or said something wrong/inappropriate. And I can't stop thinking about it, I'll be worrying all night that there's something I could have done better.
But I love to be THE STORYTELLER. JAY, THE DREAMWEAVER. Jay, THE QUEEN. I bet people think I'm a huge extrovert, self-obsessed, narcissistic weirdo but I am in that moment and it's great. I'm not most of the time. I'm two people in one and the other half of me hates myself and just wants to live in a cave but we balance each other out so it's okay to stand up and embrace that great side of me. I let her have her moment.

FIELD TRIP - Life's A Pitch

Our presentation went really well! I'm so pleased that it did, I know a few people in my group were worried and nervous but they did it and did a brilliant job.
Everyone spoke clearly and we were all confident in our proposed collective. I'm glad that we practised presenting together in one of the small rooms the day before so that we were ready and knew how long it would be.

The audience seemed to enjoy our presentation and liked the idea of our collective publication.
Questions asked about the BENEFIT to OUR PRACTICE - more of a support group and a bridge between university context and the working world.

Other collectives I enjoyed:
Artyfacts - children's magazine CONCERNED WITH CUTTINGS TO ARTS EDUCATION IN SCHOOLS. Absolutely loved this presentation and the concept behind the product. They have a purpose and a real direction for their product. Only concern is that it's VERY similar to Anorak...

Puppets and Perception - TEDx

This video will be really useful for COP but I also wanted to discuss the use of puppets in PPP.

Performance - could I use a puppet within my PPP end of year performance?

Storytelling - how puppets can tell stories and evoke different emotions. How puppets make us FEEL and WHY.

Little Angel Puppet Theatre

Katherine Morton from Long Nose suggested that I look into Little Angel Puppet Theatre in Islington, since they have lots of courses available.
At Little Angel they offer training, research and workshops. This could be somewhere I could visit, watch shows and maybe even go and speak to some puppeteers.

Reading about their history and how they established the theatre in 1961:

Fascinating and incredible that they have managed to keep the theatre working for over 50 years! A piece of history and really impressive in an age where puppets are a dwindling art form.

Jobs and Volunteering
I could work somewhere like this! I'd love to work in a puppet theatre, both in designing puppets and in performing.
I don't think I'd like to work somewhere as far away as Islington, especially as it's in London. I need to find out about more local puppet theatres(Yorkshire).

Participation Manager would combine my interest in teaching and puppetry - leading workshops and classes for children, young people and adults.

Executive Director seems less appropriate for my skills - decision making and finances are involved so this probably wouldn't be something I'd consider.

Volunteering jobs - specifically education workshop assistance - is something to look into and maybe apply for over a summer?

Internships seem to only be in marketing and press which isn't the area I'd like to know more about.