Preparing for Presentations

I love presenting and performing so it's never as daunting for me as it is for others. It's weird because I worry about all sorts of things and my anxiety stops me from doing things/going lots of places, but standing up and performing is completely different.
I could stand on a stage and do anything, When I'm in control, as I am when I'm stood telling a story, it's all in my hands and I can just be myself. People are watching me, but because I want them to. They're watching me and they want to hear what I'm saying, they are there because they want to be and I am there because I do too. They're not watching me because I'm doing things wrong/I'm having a panic attack/I don't belong wherever I am. It's different to 'public', it's still private and intimate and safe even though all eyes are on me and I'm completely vulnerable. I don't feel vulnerable when I'm stood up and I know what I'm saying.
It's still not easy, I still feel nervous about it and have to prepare A LOT. I practise saying my part so many times until I feel confident in what I'm saying. I wouldn't be able to do a presentation about something I'm not passionate about or interested in. Confidence is believing in what I'm saying.
And I make a fool of myself. I embarrass people by being an idiot and dancing around but I just do what I need to in the moment to keep the audience and myself under the spell.
I sometimes don't realise what I've done until afterwards and THAT'S when the anxiety kicks in - when I worry that I've upset/offended people or said something wrong/inappropriate. And I can't stop thinking about it, I'll be worrying all night that there's something I could have done better.
But I love to be THE STORYTELLER. JAY, THE DREAMWEAVER. Jay, THE QUEEN. I bet people think I'm a huge extrovert, self-obsessed, narcissistic weirdo but I am in that moment and it's great. I'm not most of the time. I'm two people in one and the other half of me hates myself and just wants to live in a cave but we balance each other out so it's okay to stand up and embrace that great side of me. I let her have her moment.